Complete Batshit
by Lemo
Summary: V:tMB from the POV of a female Malkavian. Novelisation of the game. Pairings may come later in the game, but with Seduction maxed out as it is, it should be a wild ride!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone. Branching out from my usual HP fics XD I'm an INSANE fan of V:tMB so I decided to do a novelisation on the fic from the POV a female Malkavian(I didn't bother making up a name for her seeing as it's never mentioned in the game anyway). All the dialogue comes from the game and I wrote is as I played it XD Lots of fun! The narration is a bit loco seeing as the character is, so if you haven't ever played as a Malk or don't understand the crazy shit I'm on about my PM me and I'll explain it the best I can. This fic isn't beta'd by the way, so tell me if you pick up any mistakes! The response I get from this chapter will help me decide if I continue!

CHAPTER ONE: Erands for Mercury

Coming out of Mercury's apartment, I looked up and down the street. What was I doing again? Oh yes, the boom-boom! I was collecting boom-boom and numbings for my new friend, Mercurio. Dear Mercury had gone and gotten himself stabbed and shot and bashed all in one night!

But first, I was hungry. I hadn't eaten since that night. The bum I'd snacked on on the way here didn't count.

I strutted down the street, back towards my shitty apartment block where the jester-prince had set up a Haven for me. It smelt funny, but there were nice posters on the wall, and snackings in the fridge.

I grinned, spotting a handsome suited man standing on the street corner, looking at his Rolex. "Hmmm…what time is it?" he muttered to himself, before looking up as I stood in front of him.

"Perhaps we might make a sweet, street side rendezvous," I purred to him with a sly smile.

His eyes glazed over as he looked me up and down. Oh yeah. I knew I was hot. I was a stripper in life, for Malkav's sake!

The blue-blood cleared his throat. "I've suddenly got the urge to walk down that…dark and foreboding alley over there. Care to join me?"

"We can join ourselves here…" I whispered, stroking the side of his face softly; bringing him closer to me. His eyes closed as we grey nearer and… I dug my fangs into his jugular. A breathy moan left him as I dragged out his sweet life juice and drank it greedily. As his heartbeat grew slower, I reluctantly pulled myself away from him and he slumped here he stood, wobbling on his feet.

My stomach blood –did the blood I drank even go to my stomach? Vampire biology is so confusing! - I remembered I had tasked to complete; getting the fleet footed god's numbness and boom-boom. Numbness would have to come first; the beach-hogging meth head's weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

Across the street, a large, red neon cross blinked at me. Ah ha! The medi-clinic; home of white walls, smelly interns and morphine! The perfect place to get the numb that Mercury needed!

I walked across the street and up to the large glass doors, but before I could go in I found myself being greeted by a young man with golden eyes.

"Hey. How's it goin', girl?" he greeted casually.

I raised an eyebrow at him. I had no time for golden boys… But he was cute, and a little conversation never hurt anybody.

"I seek the vault of gold," I said. Ok, that made little sense to even _me._ But he had such shiny golden eyes.

Said eyes widened. "Aw man! Say that again!" he exclaimed.

I was confused now. Maybe talking to this guy wasn't such a good idea… "It wasn't me. It was one of the other voices in my head."

"Aw man!" he grinned wildly. "You- you're a vampire, aren't you?"

I gasped and covered my traitorous mouth with my hands and wailed a muffled "How did you knoooow?!"

"Hell Yeah! Oh man I just knew it!" Why was he celebrating? Didn't this mean I had to kill him? "Damn it was like I could just sense you! The name's Knox Harrington. A pleasure to meet you." His face broke out in another grin. "Aw man!"

"Are you also a night's child?" I asked.

"I'm a ghoul," he replied. "I didn't know about any of this stuff until a couple of months ago…When all of a sudden BAM! Whoa man! Vampires are real and right there in front of my eyes! Blew my goddamn mind.

I nodded wisely. "Ghoulish is and ghoulish…wait," I paused. "What is a ghoul?"

Knox then went on to tell me about human's who drank vampire blood and gained a little vampire power. Fun! Why wouldn't I have gotten that instead of the read deal?

I grinned. "Are you a happy little golden ghoul?" Maybe I could get one of my own!

"It's awesome!" he exclaimed, waving his arms around. "Man, it's like the best drug. Except it doesn't mess me up; just makes me feel like I'm better at everything!"

That sounded a little messed up.

Soon after that I left Knox to his 'secret mission' given to him by his 'nasty dude' master…Whoever that was. I entered the clinic. Time to get Mercury's numb-numbs.

There was a que in the waiting room. But I'm a vampire, damnit! I don't need no stinkin' ques! I marched right on up to the receptionist.

"Please, wait your turn and you'll be seen," she said in a nasally, dismissive voice.

"The spider's web of computation need repair, so here I am," I replied. And by computation I meant drugs. And by repair I meant steal.

"What the hell?" she frowned. "Web? You mean our network? What about it."

She sure asked a lot of question marks. Maybe I should have just made her crazy instead of spinning a lie about computations. "Your, uh, driver conflux has a security nagle in the IP routing matrix." Those words all had something to do with computers, right?

"Whatever," she replied, handing me the keys to go upstairs and permission to go out back. Score!

I continued down the hall. I could hear coughing and sobbing coming from one of the room. Oooh, suffering!

Pushing open the door I was greeted by the sight of a young, be-speckled red haired woman, clutching her bleeding abdomen.

"Uh! Please get a doctor!" she begged me.

"I will get a healer," I answered, but as I went to leave the room she started wailing and crying and I rushed back to her side.

"Ah! My insides!" she sobbed. "Can someone call my grandma? Please!?"

"Don't go before I rescue you, little morsel!" I cried and her breathing became laboured. Poor little snackling. She gasped for breath, curling up into herself on the hard hospital bed. "Taste me and be mine!" I slid a sharp nail across my wrist and held it up to her trembling lips.

The dying girl clutched at me, sucking greedily on my flowing veins. Colour returned to her pale flesh and I quickly pulled away from her.

"Mmmm…" She groaned and licked her lips, looking up at me with awe.

"You flesh mends," I nodded approvingly. Maybe vampires should make blood donations!

"You…wha…who…who are you?" she asked incoherently. "Oooh…" she clutched at her now healing stomach and looked up at me. "What did you do? What did you do to me?"

"I am a simple healer," I cooed, attempting to calm her as she became more aware. "A hospital healer."

"N-no, you did something. I can feel it…It's _fixing_ me. You-I-I kissed you wrist… What did you do?"

"Some things are best forgotten. Wash me from your mind." What was it the jester-prince had said about masks? Ah, masquerade. She mustn't know my bloody little secret or big trouble for me!

"You… I feel like I know you," she reached up for me. "Like you've always been here."

"I must leave you now, my blood-love," I placed a gentle hand on her head. "Farewell."

I left the room with vampire speed. Not that she could follow me; she was still drunk on my vein juice.

I sped around the corner and down to the end of the hallway. One good deed down, one more to go! If I was a doctor, where would I keep numb-numbs?

At the end of the hall I found a locked door with a sign reading 'Dr Malcolm St Martin'. Oooh a doctor! Doctor's have lots of drugs!

I made quick work of the lock and swiped the bottles on the desk. Morphine! I was about to leave, only to be distracted by the doctor's shiny computer. I mean really, who leaves their emails sitting there in a locked room for any old vampire to read?

Especially emails as naughty as these! I giggled to myself as I read about the good doctor's 'house calls' to his favourite nurse's house. This information could come in handy.

I strolled down the hall; back to the room I'd seen earlier containing a dread-lock wearing black man in scrubs. The good doctor, perhaps?

"Are you the doctor that likes to play with his nurses?" I asked.

"Get out of here!" he shouted. Oppsie! Looks like I made him mad. "Can't you see I'm with a patient?"

"Your malpracticings will interest you wife," I went on with a grin.

"Are you trying to blackmail me? You don't know my wife, she wouldn't believe you! Now get out!"

"Perhaps "Trina" and "Paige" should trade doctor stories," I smirked.

His eyes widened. "W-wait now," he stuttered. "What do you want?"

"One hundred and fifty of your earth dollars." Woo-hoo! Moola!

"Deal." He glared at me. I swear, if I wasn't dead already, that glare could've killed me! "I'll drop it off later. Now never speak to me again."

"Drop my simoleons over the place of pawns. Farewell!" I spun on my heel and gave a little wave as I left the room. He slammed the door behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

Complete Bashit 2

Review replies

Malk: I've been spotted! XD Lol it's likely that there'll be a bit of Prince lovin' action will show up, but other characters will get some love too! :D Thanks for reviewing!

WotanAnubis: The reason I chose a Malkavian is because I just can't get over the funny shit they say XD Helps make the game funnier n less scary! I started playing when I was 12 and I was a bit of a wuss back then and being a Malk made it easier ahahaha. Stupid headhunters…scaring the shit outta me… -mutter mutter-

My business at the clinic done and dusted, I returned to the most lavish apartment building in Santa Monica. Though, that wasn't saying much.

Bloodied Mercurio was very still on his couch. It looked as if he hadn't moved since I'd left!

"Mercury," I cooed, shaking his shoulder gently. "Have you crossed the dark river Mercury?" With all his money stolen he wouldn't have a penny for the ferryman!

Luckily for Mercury, his heart still beat and he rolled over with a groan.

"I have some num-juice!" I grinned, dosing him with the pilfered meds.

"Ahh…" he sighed as the pain left him. "Oh, holy Christ I needed that."

"I will return with the boom-boom," I promised, before leaving the apartment with a wave.

Now, where were the numbskulls that owe me some boom-boom?

I walked down the end of Main Street, towards the covered car park that Mercurio had directed me earlier. On the way, the only people I passed were whores and bums. I was lucky to have found that yummy blue-blood earlier; the rest of the population would probably give me herpes.

Under the harsh lights of the car park, I followed the faded signs directing me to the beach and eventually came across a staircase, going down.

Next to the stair case, however, was a pair of distracting policemen having a quiet conversation.

"I've seen a lot of things in my years on the force," one was saying. "But that pier…that's the kind of thing tat makes you loose your faith in humanity."

Pier? What tragedies had befallen Lady Monica's biggest tourist trap? Maybe I should pick up a newspaper sometime in my afterlife.

"I've gotta say it's the _second_ worst thing I've ever seen," the other cop answered in a world weary tone.

The first cop was shocked. "That poor bastard down there in torn in two! By the looks of it you'd think someone tied him to two horses and raced them in opposite directions! What could you have possibly seen that's worse that what's down there?!"

"It was two years ago, at the Malibu…We found this guy at the beach. It was like, I don't know, an animal attack."

"Shark bite?"

"Nah, this weren't no shark bite…"

The two men talked for a while longer, but eventually my minds wandered and I was obliged to follow them down the stairs towards the beach.

As I reached the end of the tunnel, I was greeted by a young Mexican woman.

"Up there," she said, pointing gup the cliff that surrounded the beach. "Through that chain-link gate and up those stairs."

"Ah!" I grinned. "The demons who broke the fleet-footed god."

She nodded. "Those men you are looking for."

"You see the twisted strings of my tomorrows!" I gushed. "Speak more!"

"Nevermind," she said, looking away. "You wouldn't understand."

I pouted. "May the moon light your twisted path, shadow-seer. Farewell."

Walking into the beach I spotted three men standing around a large fire. I walked up the tallest (and shirtless-est!) one and attempted to strike up conversation, but he beat me to the punch.

"Listen, it's like I've told you types 'bout a thousand times now," he raged in a heavy Australian accent. "We know we can't hunt 'round here, alright? We're minding out own business, no reason to hassle the weaklings."

I tilted my head to the side. "I will cast no shadow on your flame, little sickling."

He frowned. "You mean you ain't here to run us off?"

"No. But a pity to be trapped within invisible walls."

"We're getting pretty sick of it," he muttered. "Someone citing domain or in the worst cases, hunting us for sport."

It was now my turn to frown. "Who is the hunter and why?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. We all seem to come down with the same disease – ah who am I kiddin', we're a bad horror show alright. We seem to be the runts – the mistakes. You types call us thin-blood." She scrunched his nose in distaste. "I say we're all equally screwed."

"Tell me of the thin blood."

"Damned if I know," he shrugged. "I know you don't wanna be one. You seem to be in the loop," he looked me up and down. "You tell me."

I too, shrugged. "What clan spawned the thin ones?" My own clan, the children of Malkav, might be the family of crazies and loons (though I had yet to feel its damning effects!) but out blood was still as thick as the night we were Embraced.

"Clan?" he frowned. "See I've all heard all that before, an—and I still don't know what the _hell_ anyone's talking about," his voice wavered. "I'd like to know just what I've become – we- we'd all like to know just what kind of devil's contract we've apparently signed."

"How did your blood go from thick to thin?" I questioned and he told me of his dark muse, Lily, who we'd met every night until she had finally turned him; passing her own thin blood onto him. He hadn't seen her since.

"Is your flower dead?" I asked hesitantly.

"Clinically, yes," he chuckled without mirth. "But honestly, I don't know. I suppose I'd've moved on by now if I didn't think she'd show up one of these nights. There's a lot I've got left to say to her," he sighed.

"Perhaps I can delve the mysteries of you thin blood?" I offered.

"Well I hope you have better luck that I did. No one's been particularly friendly to me in this city. Only reason we're in Santa Monica is cuz we haven't been chased out yet."

I looked around at his companions; two pale, wary looking guys. "Does the thin blood flow for you all?"

"Aye. " He nodded. "Most of 'em just recently arrived in LA. Got chased out of their home towns by the "Sabbath" or some such thing. They're more in the dark than I am. They're a good bunch but…. Well they've been through a lot. It's affected them."

I nodded. "I will return if I learn anything of your thinness."

"Alright. The name's E, by the way. See y'round." He waved me off, then returned to staring at the flames.

I'd dawdled enough. I walked through the gate ad started up the three flights of stairs. At the top of the cliff was a small bungalow with a picket fence and a red van parked out front. How picturesque. Or at least it would be, except for the shirtless meat-head standing guard out front. Time to strut my stuff!

"Help ya?" he grunted as I walked up.

"Hey there, beach boy," I greeted with a perky flutter of my eyelashes. "Let me in, and later I'll let you bury me in the sand."

"I'll tell you what..." he gave me a once over and smirked. "I'll let you in. If on your way out, you want to work out a little fair trade for future purchases, you come see me. I'm Brain."

"Think of beach balls until I get back, Briiiian," I went and continued inside. Score! Looks like I could get in and out with the boom-boom without having to lift a finger.

Inside the house was a dump, with peeling wallpaper, stained carpet and hooded teens tittering about the place. I strode past them with confidence, but the door to the next room was locked, forcing me to go through the kitchen and then through a laundry room.

As I was about to open the door the boom-boom, however, I paused, remembering Mercury's simoleons. If I was a crook, where would I hide my pilfered dollars? I scouted around the room for a few minutes before finding and openable air vent on the floor. Crawling in I found a small envelope. Bingo!

The envelope secure in my pocket, I finally opened the door and was greeted by a dark man in a white suit and a teen standing in the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Omg there was a freaking typo in my summary –bangs head against desk- waaay to gooo meeee! Anyway, the updating for this fic will be pretty spastic since I only update when I play the game (since my brain CANNOT seem to understand chronological order _)

Also, does anyone else think there should be a Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines category? There's Vampire, White Wolf and World of Darkness categories and just having a V:tMB one would make it a hellova lot easier! I have no idea which of the three to put my fic in!

Review Replies:

Malk: Those are my favorite as well! :D I really wanna squeeze in the 'daddy was too busy to ell me there's no such things as a professional gymnast line in there somewhere XD

Celeste: Glad you're enjoying :D

Thanks to these two (and WotanAnubis on AFF), they're my only reviewers XD

The dark-skinned man took one look at me and grinned. "Yeah…that is what I love about this business. Fine women come to my house for my shit. I don't even gotta call 'em on the phone or nothin'. Say there, pretty lady, what can I hook you up with tonight?"

"What's in your little green bag?" I asked. I'm playin' it cucumber cooool. Wouldn't want to tip him off to me being here to kick his ass, take his stuff and run away.

He buffed his nails on his fancy white jacket. "My staff maintains at all times a twenty-four caret smorgasbord of A plus narcotics guaranteed to make the competition's shit look like a weak cappuccino in comparison. White, green, blue, red, black – you pick a colour."

"I need explosives." I cocked a hip and an eyebrow.

"Explosives? Fun stuff," he chuckled darkly. "You can get yourself a lotta attention that way. I may have somethin', why would you need to get your hands on some fireworks?"

"I want to set the night on fire," I gave a wild grin.

"Sure, okay. I got some stuff that'll do the trick. Astrolite," his eyes lit up. "It's like TNT's bugger, meaner cousin with a prison record. I don't like keepin' the stuff around – too dangerous – so I'll let you have it for less that the going rate."

I gave a sly smile and ran a finger up his arm. "Money is so boring, sweetheart," I ran my tongue across my lower lip. "I'm sure we can figure something else out…"

"Mmm-hmm," he grinned. "I'd be open to negotiations. Question is: how open are you?"

I glanced over at the teen in the corner, who was trying his best to look uninterested. "Want to send your buddy out of the room and find out?"

"Yo," he nodded to the door. "Go check the odometer on my car." The teen nodded and left. "Now," the dealer turned back to me with a smirk. "I'll give you what you want… But I got what you need."

"Let me show you a new trick I picked up…" I dragged him closer to me and pulled him down in order to sink my fangs into his neck, but all he felt was a light nibble. His blood was a cocktail! Dozens of different narcotics blended with his sweet life juice… Absolutely delicious! Before I knew it was sucking on a dry, dead artery. Oh well, no big loss to the world.

I dropped the dead man to the floor, grabbed the astrolite from the table and strode out the now unlocked door to the lounge. From there I went back out the front door, waving to Brian as I went by.

Jumping from the top stair, I landing neatly on the sand below (almost landing on a guy in a bunny shirt).

Off to see Mercury!

XXXXXX

Mercurio was still sleeping face down on his couch when I entered his apartment.

"Wake up, sleepy dead," I said, kicking the corner of the couch. He grunted at sat up. "I got the boom-boom," I grinned and held up the astrolite.

"Yeah?" He grinned. "Didja waste those sons of bitches?"

"Only those that fell in my shadow," I smirked.

"Good, great – hope it was painful. Didja get my money back?"

"Your gold?" I dug around in my pocket and pulled out the envelope. "Yes! Here is your gold, Mercury."

"Oh, you're a lifesaver," he gratefully took the envelope from me. "I might have to buy some new kidneys with this."

I perched myself on the arm of his couch. "Where do my feet lead me next?"

"You need yo make a place disappear, a warehouse. Looks to be a Sabbat interest."

I frowned, confused. "I can't fit Sabbat into my cerebrum."

He raised an eyebrow. "You haven't been doin' this too long, have you? The Sabbat, as I understand it, are your typical, power hungry movie monsters. They specialize in causing grief. I've tangled with their like – let me tell you, I didn't enjoy it."

I nodded. "Tell me of the house of wares."

"I heard a lot bout that operation. I'd love to get in there, get my hands on the equipment they've been unloading." He gave a huge grin, then deflated. "But it'd be suicide to walk in there…. Got a small army of trigger-happy types, and they're all packin'." He gave a sigh. "I don't know… maybe… uh…"

"Yes, fleet-footed one?"

"Well there's this guy. I've never met him but I've heard a lot about him. His name is Tung, Bertram Tung. He's one of you types." Me types? Crazy? Ooh, he meant nocturnally inclined. "If there's anyone who knows more than me about this city, it's him. Unfortunately, Tung's hiding out at the moment."

"Tung… I hear this within my head…" I mused.

"Tung's laying low cuz of Therese, Therese Voreman, you know her?" Mercury went on. "Anyway, word is Therese and Tung are feuding – I don't know the details. My take's that Tung thinks he's about to get whacked, so he's gone underground till Therese calls it off. If you wanna put that warehouse into orbit ay time soon, you're gonna have to get Therese to call off the feud."

"Where is the dark daughter of Janus?" I asked.

"She and her sister, Jeanette, they run the Asylum," he answered. I'd seen some posters advertising the night club around town. Looked like fun! "Some freaky customers frequent that place, "Mercurio went on. "I try not to do business there."

"What can you tell about the dark daughter of Janus?"

"She's THE woman around here," Mercurio answered with a hint of respect in his voice. "Power player. Nice looking broad for a dead chick, but, uh, personality like stone."

Okay, so the dark daughter was a hot bitch. "What of the white daughter?"

"Therese… Therese I don't like, but I can respect her. Jeanette's different," he winced. "I don't know what to make of her. She's a little, you know, in the head," he twirled a finger around his ear. "I dunno, Therese is, well, like you, and I would think so's Jeanette, but I hear rumours about her…"

I tilted my head. "What whispers?"

Mercurio scratched the back of his head. "Call me old fashioned, but, uh, I just can't talk about that kinda thing in front of a lady."

I glared at him. "Refuse me again and I'll make you my eunuch."

"Alright… Jeanette's gotta body built for bedrooms. And I got close acquaintances say they conquered that territory. But I asked the main man and he said you types, you know, can't or don't, err, do that kinda thing." Mercury looked a little uncomfortable, then shrugged. "Anyway, whatever she is, I head Jeanette's a wild girl."

Soon after that, I left Mercury to guzzle his master's blood and heal up. It was disappointing to learn I was apparently no longer able to indulge in carnal pleasures, but at least I had the information I needed to continue with the quest the boss had given me.

The Asylum, my next stop. Sounds like a perfect place for someone like me.

AN: I went over it best I could, but you guys can always feel free to tell about any mistakes you see XD Sorry it's a bit short, but the next chapter's already written and just needs to be typed, and it's pretty long!


	4. Chapter 4

Review replies:

Malk: I knooow it's so hard to find a good malk fic through all the stuff I've never heard of _ It was by luck that I even GOT V:tMB, never mind any of the other pen and paper games XD

Celeste: Half the time my internet's down, so I cant do anything on the computer but play V:tMB XD Lucky for you guys! (Though recently I've gotten addicted to my Rune Factory game Ahaha)

Glassgow Smile: I'd be happy to look over it, I'm not that good at spelling but I'm unusually good at noticing when something is spelt wrong as long as I didn't write it XD If that makes sense!!

In this chapter we meet Jeanette, which should be fun, and screw with Knox's head XD Btw, if anyone ever see's something wrong with my tenses (then, now, etc) let me know? Not my strong point…

XXX

I decided to return home for the night, seeing as the sky was beginning to lighten and I wasn't looking forward to being barbequed anytime soon.

First thing after stepping into the dingy apartment building, I checked my mailbox, finding the good doctor's blackmail money inside, just as promised. I wondered how he knew which number was mine… But at least I didn't have to break his legs.

Back in my apartment, I found two new emails waiting for me. On was from the boss, asking me to pick up some werewolf blood that had somehow made its way to the clinic (werewolves existed too? Somehow not so shocking) and the other was merely labeled from 'a friend'. I had no idea I had any!

I closed down the computer and boarded up the windows against the rising sun, before lying down on my rotting bed and succumbing to sleep.

XXX

The next night dusked and I arose from my slumber, rolling of the bed and onto the floor (all the while ranting on about the early hour, even if it was seven in the evening) as I had often done in my years of life. Some things never change, it seems.

On my way out and on to the street, I spotted a newspaper sitting outside my neighbour's door. 'Carnival of Death', it read. 'Gruesome remains found on the pier! Police baffled!' This must be what those two policemen had been talking about yesterday. I might as well look into it later.

When I got outside it was raining (surprise, surprise) so I jogged across the street and down the alleyway next to the clinic. On the back of the alley wall was a large neon sign reading 'The Asylum'. This must be the place.

There were a few drunks loitering in front of the club and across the street I could see a 24/7 diner, probably the place I'd have to go later to asked about the thinned flower. Further down the street I could see a few landmarks; a bail bonds, an old gas-station and a salvage yard. Not to mention the screaming bum at the end of the road, wailing on about the end of the world.

I pushed my way past a vomiting drunk and entered the club. As the door closed behind me, the full force of the loud, pulsing music hit me and I rubbed my sensitive ears. Once I had rounded the corner I was greeted by a pale, well equipped young woman with blonde pigtails and dark, running eye make up.

"Well what do we have here?" She purred. "Another scrumptious young plaything straight out of life and into my club? You smell new, little girl, like fabric softener dew on freshly mowed Astroturf," she giggled. "Ooh, I'm not frightening you, am I duckling?"

I grinned at her approvingly. I could sense the tangled web of our forefathers within her. "I see before me a beauty who shares the madness of my mind."

Her eyes widened. "What? Oh my! A Malkavian! This ought to be absolutely delicious!" Two minds as crazy as ours, and who knows just what might happen."

"Greetings, daughter of Janus."

She laughed. "Oh! But you've got it bad, little girl! Not sure exactly what is real and what isn't? Janus…let's see…" she put a finger to her chin as she pouted in thought. "Isn't that a two faced Roman god? Of course, you're right," she grinned. "You just happened to meet the prettier face first."

"You are the whiteness," I nodded. "She of alabaster and ivory."

"Ha! Wait until Therese hears that! I am white to her black. She'll be absolutely furious!" She then looked me up and down with a smirk. "Of course, I won't be wearing white to any weddings, but… we can talk about that later."

I gave a sly grin. "Fear and love are two sides of the same coin."

She laughed. "I can tell you and I are going to get along just like firehoses."

"You mean we're both rolled up and twisted?" I asked with a tilt of my head.

She looked at me with hooded eyes. "When we get turned on, there's bound to be flames."

I chucked. "Burn, baby, burn. Give me the pleasure of your label."

"I'm the finger down you spine when all the lights are out. I'm the name on all the men's room walls. When I pout, the whole world tries to make me smile. And everyone always wants to know who… is… that girl?"

I felt a shiver run down my back. "My heart beats like a thousand primal drums." Well, it would if it still pumped blood. "Give me the gift of your name."

"I…am…Jeanette!" she ginned. "And this bit of chaos crammed in a certifiable giggle is my club. Oh, I'd love to give your funny feelings all night, sweetheart, bit I really must trouble with some business," she pouted. "We'll reunite sweet and soon, I promise."

I nodded with a sight. She really was fun. Made me feel just a little bit sane again. "Until our shattered selves once again collide."

With that she sauntered off to the side of the club and entered an elevator. Sad I was to see her go, it really was fun to watch her go. Alright, one sister down and one more to go. Time to find the darker face.

I scoped the room, but didn't spot any other member of the exclusive club that was vampirism. As I approached the bar, however, a familiar face made themself known to me.

"Hey, girl!" Knox greeted.

"Golden Ghoul!" I grinned. "What say you?"

"Eh, not much," he shrugged. "I'm just waitin' around for my master.

I blinked. "But what of the secret mission?"

"Oh man, not good! That's why I'm waiting to talk to him."

"Who is the Nasty Dude?"

"Okay, okay. I guess I can tell you about him. Oh man! His name's Bertram Tung! He's a Nosferatu."

Ah! The wormy man I sought…But why would a wormy rendezvous with his ghoulie in the middle of a crowded club? "What do you do for the Nasty Dude?" I eventually questioned.

"Aw man! Well, Bertram had me keeping an eye on this guy, this Asian dude who's been pokin' around Santa Monica. Bertram thought he might be a vampire or…something like a vampire," he shrugged. "I dunno."

"A life-eater from across the sea…" I mused.

"Life-eater? Damn! I don't even know what that means! Is that vampire for scary—ass-Asian-dude-that-can-probably-kick-my-ass? Oh man! Cuz, like, that's what I think he is!"

"Tell me more of this creature," I requested.

"Aw man, this guy, this …thing… got wise to me. Now instead of me watching him, he's watching me, you know! I see this guy appear around me all the time, like off in the distance watchin' me, he'll warp up next to me…aw man, then 'whoo' disappear."

I frowned. Something didn't sit right with the golden boy's tale. The voices disagreed. "The truth does not match the words that all from your mouth," I accused.

"O-oh? What're you saying?" He asked nervously.

"Let the truth glaze your forked tongue," I purred.

"Wha-? How did you know?" He glanced away then tried to cover his tracks. "Uh…look, ha man. I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, why should I tell you anything, huh? I mean, you're not being straight with me!"

I gasped. "But we are!"

"Okay, okay, okay! Damnit, Knox, damn!" he cursed himself. "Oh, man, alright look. I messed up, okay? I'm just doing what I was told, though."

Ohoho! So the true Knox is revealed! "Onward, do speak."

"Bertram knew you were comin', he knew you come by here, He planted me and told me what to say about the Asian vamp, but it's true. I swear," he pleaded earnestly. "And everything else is too. This Asian guy needs to be taken out! I can't do it, so Bertram needs you to."

"Favours are for friendlies, not the spinners of lies," I said, crossing my arms with a pout.

"Seriously, no really, this thing is here and it's bad news or all of us. Bertram says there could be an army of 'em show up any day unless we show 'em we mean business."

I sighed. "Then the deed will be done by my hand."

"Hell yeah! Right on!" Ah, the old dumbass façade had returned. "Okay, like I said, he's some kind of vampire… thing… ya know. The only clue I've got is this driver's licence that he dropped once when I was tailing him. I've been so freaked out I hadn't even had the chance to check it out."

I gave the licence a quick look. Definitely not an Asian Dude. "I will do this deed," I nodded.

"Right on! Just come back and let me know the job's done and I can stop freakin' out. Oh man. Maybe I'll see Bertram by then."

If I was going to be hunting some big bad Asian wolf I was gonna need something a pit more powerful that my trusty tire-iron.

"Can you tell me where I buy a boom-stick, little ghoulie?" I asked.

"As I matter of fact I can," he grinned. "Go see my man Trip at the pawn shop. He won't sell to just anyone, but tell him you know Knox and he'll set you right up."

I nodded. "I am somewhere else," I said by way of goodbye, and left Knox at the bar.

After shaking my head clear, I remembered my original reason for being t the club in the first place, to find Janus' dark child.

I checked the elevator the white daughter had ascended, but found it inaccessible. Perhaps the large, tattooed man behind the bar could help me.

"What can I get you, beautiful?" he greeted as I approached.

"I seek the daughters of Janus," I answered.

"Janus?" he frowned. "What the hell are you talking about? Damn. Why do I always get the weird ones?"

"The sisters spawned of the two headed god…" I tried to explain.

"Huh? Look, the only sisters around here are Therese and Jeanette and they're both upstairs, fightin' as usual. Why do you need to see them?"

I smiled and gave a twirl. "I'm a dancer. Jeanette wants to check the colour of my thong."

"Damn. I wish that was my job," he muttered to himself, then looked back at me. "Go on up and see her. Take the elevator over there."

I nodded my thanks. "This watering hole is well kept. Farewell."

I skipped over the elevator and took it to the second floor. Looks like I was finally getting somewhere.

XXX

Aw man I was meant to get this up the day before yesterday, but I've only just gotten internet access DX I swear my cat's been chewing the cords or sommat...As usual, tell me if you pick up any mistakes!


	5. Chapter 5

Wow this took forever -__- Im not gonna bore you with my exuses!

Review Replies :

**Requiem**: Glad you like it XD Hope you enjoy!

**Eternal E**: You're probably right, the internal thoughts should be more Malkish! It's just people might get confused XD Man I should've done this 3rd person… The original idea I had was that she thought normal and there were numerous voiced in her head but that just didn't pan out lol

I love the traffic sign! And the tuna fish story the newsman tells you XD Thanks for your review it was fun to read!

**Celeste**: Hope the wait wasn't as long as it felt for me D:

**Padme4000**: Glad you're enjoying it! I never finished the game either ahaha well not without cheating __

I got some new reviewers on the last chap! Yaaay

* * *

"Your city? Last time I looked it was called Santa Monica. Not Stuck-Up-Bitch."

"So vulgar! I can't even look at you sometimes! You Jezebel!"

The sound of two arguing voices was the first thing I heard as I reached the second floor. I backed away from the door, not wanting to interrupt.

"Oh _please_ Therese. You really do paint a flattering portrait of me with your turn of the century barbs. I always assumed you could do nothing but look down on me."

"Just the sight of you! The sight of that wicked, dirty pout, concealing that diseased mind! Sin! You have no shame!"

As the fight wore on I grew bored of listening to the two sisters yell at each other and poked around the small waiting room. All I found was a shiny ring on the floor (Mine now!), a mirror that held no reflection and the same newspaper from this evening.

Eventually I heard Jeanette finally take offence to something her sister said and storm off with a sob.

"That's in Jeanette, run away from the truth," Therese taunted. "I'll take care of everything, as always."

With that final jeer I deemed it safe to enter the room.

Standing next to a desk, dressed in a business suit with hair as blond as her sisters tied up in a tight bun, stood the woman I assumed to be Therese.

"Please, come in," she greeted professionally. "I do apologize for my sister's crassness if it made you uncomfortable. She's unabashedly scandalous, but… in the club business I suppose that kind of personality is a necessary evil."

"Her whiteness was no terrible weight," I shrugged. The way she had treated the white princess didn't set well with me, but I was here for business, not ass kicking.

"Nonsense," she sniffed. "She's nothing but."

"Are you called Therese, dark daughter?"

"Therese Voreman, yes. I'm the proprietor of this club, and the only person in this city whose good side it's in your best in your best interest to stay on," she sent me a deadly glare. "What brings you to Santa Monica?"

"Call off your conflict with the wormy one," I requested.

"Tung's exile is self imposed, I assure you. But then, what reason would I have not to hate that loathsome Nosferatu scoundrel. Bloody Nosferatu," she muttered under her breath. "They're so…unclean."

I rolled my eyes. The mad insulting the ugly, just what I needed. "I don't want to meddle in your madness, just make a wormy peace."

"Hmmm," she gave it a little thought. "I'd be willing to put the word out that my grievances with Tung have been swept under the rug, but in return, you'll have to help me remove a particularly bothersome spirit from a property I'm looking to invest in."

A spirit? There were fucking GHOSTS as well as vampires, werewolves and every other supernatural nutter I was going to meet for the rest of eternity? Just my luck.

I groaned. "A better use of my time would be ANYTHING else!" Why did everyone seem to think I was their errand-girl?

She went on, uncaring of my unwillingness. "Rumour is that a personal item of a ghost's may be used to draw it out or excise it from it's haunt. While I don't put a lot of stock in hearsay, it's my last option. So I want you to go to the Ocean House hotel, find an item of the spirit's and bring it back."

I sighed. "If you give word to the worm that he is not wanted, I will go."

"Oh I fully intend to do so," she promised. "You'll find that dealing with me, on the whole, is appreciably more predictable than dealing with some of my peers. So long as our business doesn't go sour, my word is gold."

I nodded. "Then I am off to the house in the Ocean." I went to walk out of the room.

"Oh, before I forget, take this," she stopped me and dug around in a desk draw, pulling out a key and handing it to me. "The only way to reach the Ocean House this time of night is through a tunnel is the sewers. You'll need that key to open the gate for that tunnel."

Oh this deal just got better and better, didn't it?

"I will do what needs to be done, dark daughter," I sighed.

"If you'll excuse me, I've got situations to set straight," she said turning away.

Taking this for the dismissal it obviously was, I left the club.

XXX

There was no way I was gonna crawl through the sewers tonight, so the dark child's task could wait until my next evening. For now, I went to the Diner that was just across the street from the club. I was already in the area, after all, might as well dig up some dirt on the little lost Lily.

The only people inside the diner were two humans eating at the counter and an old lady behind the counter. That and some scary guy in the corner…Man, he gave off some creepy-ass vibes.

"What'll it be, honey?" she asked when I stood in front of her.

"I see a pale girl in my mind," I answered. "Have you seen the pale girl too?"

"Is… That a trick question?" The old woman –Doris, her nametag read – frowned in confusion.

"'Thin-blood'," I made quotation marks with my hands. "Do you know these words?"

"Thin-blood? Sounds familiar… is that one of those tropical diseases?"

"From where did the words 'thin blood' enter your brain?"

"Hmm… I know I've heard that before…"

"The pale, pretty flower girl muttered them perhaps..?" I hinted.

"Oh, that girl," the old woman nodded. _Finally_. "Nice girl. First decent human being I've seen in here for years – not like all the other junkies and crazies I normally see," she sniffed in distaste. "Yeah I remember her…weird. She left a tip but didn't order a thing. She looked so hungry too. Just sat there all night with a full glass of water in front of her, talkin' about this and that. She seemed lonely; a little scared, so I let her stay in the booth until we closed. She left some stuff behind," Doris pulled out a plastic bag (mother earth wept!) filled with stuff from behind the counter and passed it to me. "You seem to know her, why don't you give it back to her?"

"Yes. Our paths may cross," I said, bidding the woman goodbye.

Inside the bag was a bunch of random personal items; a picture of a young woman at the beach, a car key and a receipt for Kilpatrick Bail Bonds for someone named 'Rolf Toten'. I guess Kilpatrick's was my next stop.

As I exited out onto the street, I nearly ran into a bearded man, dressed in rags and waving a picket sign.

"Redemption cannot be bought and sold!" He screamed as I passed him.

I grimaced and wiped the rancid hobo spit from my cheek. He was right though, Redemption could not be bought without breaking the forth wall. And even then you'd have to look on EBay.

I passed the hobo and entered the building labelled 'Kilpatrick's Bail Bonds', where I would surely find the information I needed on the bail jumping Toten. The office inside was clean, but run down, with ragged couches and an ancient looking computer. The only person inside was a fat man with slicked hair and sunglasses (in the middle of the night? Stranger things have happened).

The computer at the back of the room had a sign above it. "Kilpatrick's KRIME-PUTER!' it read. 'Search a National Database for Missing and WANTED persons'. I could probably use this to find out about Mr. Toten on this. Oh! And maybe to a search on the owner of the license Knot had given me.

But before I could make a dash for the computer, I was greeted by the fat man.

"Welcome to Kilpatrick's 24-hour Bail Bonds," he said, slicking back his hair even more. "My name's Arthur Kilpatrick. How may I help you?"

I titled my head. "Are you the key master?" Ok now that sounded like I was talking about Hagrid from Harry Potter, but I can't control the spewings that leap from my mouth.

"Huh?" He scratched his head. "O-oh I see what you're yappin' about. Yeah… I guess you can call me that. Key Master, huh? Might be worth tryin'… Arthur Kilpatrick: The Santa Monica Key Master," he shook his head and chuckled. "Yeah I dunno, sounds kinda like a bad horror movie." He didn't know the half of it. My entire (un)life was a bad horror movie.

"Can I pluck some answers from your head?" I asked.

"Sure honey, what is it?"

I looked around the room at the WANTED posters plastered on the walls. "Tell me of the business of bonds and bounties," I requested. "Are there many bounties to hunt?"

"Of course," he nodded. "Goes with the business. Then ya sic a bounty hunter on them."

I grinned. "That's gotta be an interesting job." Wow that had to be the most sensefull sentence I'd made all night. Score one for the Malky!

"You betcha!" Arthur laughed. "I used to do some bounty huntin' myself, back in the day. Takes a good solid set of brass balls- er," he blushed and cleared his throat. "Pardon the expression missy, but it takes balls to be a good bounty hunter."

"Does your hunter have good balls of brass?" That would be uncomfortable… Clink, clink, clink, clink all day! How would be successfully sneak up on his bounties?

"Yep! Damn good! His name's Carson and he's great at what he goes, when he wants to do it," Arthur sighed and rubbed his temple. "I can't seem to find him now, though. He's pissin' me off to be honest. I need him to go find someone."

"Maybe you need to find a different set of balls," I shrugged.

"Well I don't feel right cuttin' Carson loose just yet - we go way back. I knew his father too. Tell ya what," he snapped his fingers and grinned. "Since I'm stuck here, why don't you go look for him? Just real quick, I'll pay ya for your time."

A hunter hunting a hunter? How whimsical. "I will happily hunt the hunting one." I grinned.

"Great, great! I suppose the first place you should look is his apartment in Santa Monica Suites," Arthur got right down to business. "Apartment one, I think it is. Maybe you'll find something there to let you know where he's gotten himself to." He dug around in his pocket a bit before pulling out a plastic card and handing it to me. "Here's the card key that'll let you in."

"I'll bring him back soon, my jolly little jail breaker."

After that, Arthur got back to work and I finally got my claws on the Krime-Puter.

I checked Crumb, V first (Knox's not so Asian driver). Seems Mr. Crumb had been sipping sweet nectar and shedding his skin where people could see him, and was now dead in the local morgue. Just goes to show that public nudity doesn't pay.

Toten, R on the other hand, had given up his car (a red Lightening Bird) in exchange for his bail. The license plate apparently read 'GUYGONI'. Toten had seemingly skipped town, so his car was my next stop.

* * *

AN: Hope it's long enough for you all! I'm sorry it took so long!

BTW, for those for may be confused, here's a list of all the quests the character is currently taking:

**A Bounty for the Hunter  
**Find Carson

**The Ghost Haunts at Midnight  
**Get rid of Ocean House ghost

**The Hunted Hunter  
**Kill Knox's Asian Dude

**Bloody Mess**  
Get werewolf blood

**Explosive Begininngs  
**Destroy Sabbat Wherehouse

**Thinned Blood  
**Find Lily

**The Regent's Riddle  
**This wasn't mentioned in the story yet.

And that's it! Multi-tasking much?

Oh yeah, I wanna hear you guys's optinions;

Do you think I should give the Malk a name?

And what do you think the pairing should be, if any?

Thanks for reading :D Once again, look for mistakes n typos n I'll go fix em.


	6. Chapter 6

Complete Batshit 6

Review replies:

**Padme4000:** I love all the in-jokes in the game :D I've never seen Ghostbusters so I never really got that! "Here's Johnny!" always made me laugh too XD It took you six months to complete it? I've had the game since I was about 13-14 and I only completed it once I turned 16 XD I was too scared to play it fully when I first got it… Now it doesn't faze me at all (though I might still jump when the ocean house ghost runs past or when that first headhunter jumps into the stairwell….stinkin' freaky-ass headhunters –shiver-)

**Celeste:** I love the idea of Malk/LaCroix XD I dunno why, it's just the image of her regaling him with tales of her trip to the museum ('...the sarcophagus was stolen but there were dinosaurs so I had fun :D...') and his sitting there patiently letting her go so he can eventually get in her pants XD I just love it

**Eternal E:** Well the whole point of the fic was I pretty much just wanted to write down everything the Malk character said so I could laugh at it later, but I eventually just ended up turning it into a fic because it was more fun that way and I noticed there wasn't really any novelizations of the game on (that I could find). I've been thinking of adding more original dialogue as the fic goes on, though, for the sake of romance and plot and such. I'm mainly looking to get the bulk of it out of the way using the game script, though. Besides, I love the game dialogue XD Especially Vandal! He's in this chap hehe. Actually, y'know what? I might revamp (OHOHOHO A PUN!) Vandal's dialogue a little. I like the Vandal/FemMalk pairing! But at the risk of making him OOC I'll just make it seem as if there's a light friendship XD  
Also, an Anarch pairing might be fun! (Man, I can never choose….there isn't really a character in this game I hate XD)

**Tourette**: Ohohoho I never really thought of it like that! The pairing DOES bring up the question of loyalty and I don't even want to get INTO the Ending(s)… You've given me a bit to think about, you have! (PS: Love the username XD)

**LeonTheGallade**: Glad you're enjoying it :D I try to keep my chapters SORT OF lengthy. I know 2000+ words isn't much of a goal but once I hit ten refill pages I get kinda bored XD

XXXXXXXXXXX

I skulked through the only car park on this side of town, looking for Toten's red Lightening Bird as I went. To be honest, I had no idea what that sort of car looked like – I was a stripper, after all, not a mechanic- but red was a shiny colour as was sure to eventually catch my eye. When I finally stumbled across it, I realize d it was actually the only red car in the entire lot.

I unlocked the boot of the car with Lily's key and started digging around for clues. Hmmm, tie iron (already got one of those, his name's Lucky), spare tire (I didn't even have a tire, let alone need a spare), used condom (eeeeeew!) and- Oooooh! A diary! Score!

I closed the boot and perched myself on the lid, flipping through the diary as I went. It contained a young woman's (presumably Lily's) ramblings about Rolf 'soooo beautiful!' Toten, a German man she'd met at the Asylum. Soon after the girl was turned by him and eventually abandoned by her sire. I almost felt a certain kinship with the girl, also having seen left sireless (though not by choice). The diary went on to tell of E and the turning/leaving of E. Definitely Lily's diary, unless E had been slutting himself around.

The final entry said that Lily had gone to the blood bank under the clinic in search of sustenance, so I headed there.

I went through the clinic's back door ('Blood Bank, downstairs' the sign read) and went down the creaky metal stairs. Outside the door to the basement were two vending machines, each selling various sodas. _13(13 stimulates in every bottle! _With flavors such as Thirteen, Yellow Sno, SEXXX, Triple Team and Dirty Sanchez) and _Liquid Demon Seed (Slobber it DOWN!!_ Flavors included Babalu, Seed, Rhondo and Dank Skank). Almost made me wish I could drink something other than plasma. _Almost._

The reception desk for the blood bank was actually a caged off window in the wall with a nutty looking guy behind it – Vandal, the Employee of the Month plaque read. He gave off the same vibe as Mercurio and Knox did. I could tell he was a part of the 'in crowd'.

"You next up for the needle? Hmmm?" he asked me by way of greeting, eyeing me up in a sort of creepy way. But who was I to judge? "Your donation could save a life, you know." He smirked widely. "Oh, but isn't it a little late for altruism? I don't think you're here to give blood at all. I don't buy it, Betty(1)," he sneered. "I bet you're here to _take_ blood. Am I right?"

I rolled my eyes. Looks like the jig was up. "Does the pope wear a funny hat?" I asked rhetorically.

He blinked, surprised, the grinned. "Right down to business. None of this 'pretend I don't drink blood' shit," he waved his arms sarcastically. "Very refreshing to find a deceive customer. I like that. So, what'll it be?"

"I need to enter this blood fortress," I said, nodding at the side door. I somehow doubted he'd tell me the location of the wilting flower.

He shook his head. "Sorry, princess. Employee's only. Them's the rules of the queen bitch herself," he muttered the last bit under his breath, looking as if he'd rebelled against an unseen cause.

Queen Bitch? Oh, he must have been the dark daughter's ghoulie! That had to suck(2); Therese didn't seem like a very caring master.

"The queen does not see all that takes place in her kingdom," I said with a sly smile. "Letting me in to the candy store will have no repercussions!"

He frowned. "But Queen Bitch told me never to let anyone in there. I remember her repeating it over and over again in that cold pretentious voice of hers," he snarled at the very thought of her words.

I patted his hand calmingly through the gap in the window. "There, there, Candy Man. This will be our little secret."

He mulled it over for a few seconds, then shrugged and flicked a switch under his desk. "Opened," he smirked.

I giggled gleefully. "My inner child thanks you!" I grinned and skipped over to the now unlocked door.

Walking in, I was greeted by numerous doors and hallways, the first of which being a large room filled with walk-in freezers. I poked around the icy rooms a bit. I found nothing in any of the rooms except a key pad on the wall of the warmest one. Not knowing the code, I left it until later.

The next few doors were locked, but the one that wasn't led to an x-ray room where a young man in uniform scrubs was examining some x-rays (why were there x-rays in a blood bank, of all things?). He turned around as I came in.

"Who are you?" he asked nervously. "Uh, what're you doin' back here?"

"My reason's are solid and secret," I answered cryptically.

"Oh…" he looked around suspiciously before leaning in and whispering, "You here for the special sauce?"

"Yes. And how special it is!" Isn't it amazing how people give you information you need when you pretend you already know what it is?

"Okay…stupid question Phil," the young man, Phil, banged his palm against his forehead. "She's in the freezer. Today's code is……_Think_, Phil…" More banging. "Uh… Moon landing…It's…1969!" He grinned, pleased with himself.

"Just like the summer(3)," I mused. "Farewell."

Once back in the freezer, I entered the code into the keypad and a panel in the wall slid open. I shoved a few boxes out of my way and stepped into the small space between the walls. There was a large red switch in front of me, set to off, which I pulled (who wouldn't?(4)). This opened another – blood soaked – section of the wall.

The sight inside was one that would haunt me for the rest of my undead days.

A young, red-haired girl in a tie-dye shirt had been strapped down to a chair. Blood was splattered up and on the walls and floor around her. Her hands were desperately clutching the arms of the chair and her eyes were rolling around wildly in their sockets. She was hunched over, her shoulders heaving with every breath as I approached her.

"Hunger…" she gasped. "I need it… a drop of it on my tongue, sliding down my throat, the hot flash in my brain lighting up my body… I can smell it everywhere…blood…"

I sighed sorrowfully. "The beauty has met her Beast."

She started to struggle in the chair, pulling at the straps binding her arms. "Let me go… It's painful, like I'm going to die! It's calling. Never felt like this before.  
She shook her head wildly. "LET ME GO! I CAN SMELL IT! I HAVE TO HAVE IT!"

"I will free you from the fox's den, little flower," I cooed, reaching for and freeing her wrists.

"Huh? What?" She turned to me, barely seeing me through the haze of her bloodlust. The door to the hall suddenly opened and the young man from earlier, Phil, walked in, wielding a large needle and a shocked expression.

"Hey, what're yo- Ahh!" he was cut short as she sprang at him, screaming as she shoved him to the floor and dug her fangs into his neck. I stood by and watched as the once wilting flower emptied him quickly and unsteadily rising to her feet, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand as she did.

"The _heat_," she moaned. "Mmm, it's never been so satisfying. All of it, I drank until I heard his heart stop and I was sucking on a dry, dead artery. It was…_euphoric_…" She sighed blissfully, before snapping out from her high and looking down at Phil's shriveling corpse. "But… I've… I've killed him… I've never killed anyone before," her breathing quickened with panic and she clutched my shirt. "What happened? What came over me!?"

"You wore the mask of the beast," I explained, patiently detangling her hands.

"Beast? What _is_ that? Why couldn't I stop myself? Why did it feel…so right?"

I petted her hands soothingly. "You are not the best you wear. Now, spin me your dark tale, little spider."

She took a deep breath and began. "I tried to steal some blood. I heard the sold it – I was hungry and I can't hunt in town. They caught me and…I was strapped – trapped!" She looked at the chair that had held her with frightened eyes. Then down at the body. "I thought I'd never escape. But… I killed a man."

"Are you the beautiful sickling flower?" I asked.

"Flower?" She seemed to calm down. "My name's Lily, if that's what you mean."

I smiled. "You are the flower of he that becomes before F and G."

"E?" She straightened. "You know E? I…How do you know E?"

"I was following the thin-blood, and it led me to you."

"I tried to tell E about his condition, but he was so furious at me for with what I'd turned him into, he wouldn't listen. A thin-blood, from what I've been told, if a vampire whose blood is weaker than most.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, having figured that out from E's little speech.

"Rolf, my sire," she went on. "Told me that some vampires consider thin-bloods a bad omen and want us destroyed. Rolf wasn't a thin-blood, but apparently I am. I don't know why. Rolf abandoned me. He said I was a…liability," she sighed deeply. "He left me with so many questions… and I did the same thing to E. But I didn't want to leave E – he forced me out of his life. I-I should go. I have to get out of here. Maybe out of this city…"

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Seek out your thin-blooded lover," I urged.

"E…doesn't hate me anymore?" she asked hopefully.

I smiled. "He misses your dark bloomings."

She perked up a little. "I'll go see him. Thank you."

"This path is treacherous," I warned. "As is love."

"Oh," her eyes flickered to Phil. "About tonight… What I did… Please don't tell E. It's not my fault… I couldn't control it. I've never done anything like this before. I'm no killer."

I nodded. "This secret dies with us. Farewell."

With that, Lily dashed from the room and I also went to leave, only to be stopped when Vandal barged into the room, looking pretty pissed off.

"Why'd you have to go and let that bitch out?" he ranted. "There's one less Phil in the world now! Why'd you have to let her go and eat him? Now I'll never get to do away with the bastard myself," he gave Phil's body a kick. "Well you know what? No more blood for you – no more!"

I snorted. "The sickling's thinned blood would have brought you no profit, my ghouly friend."

Vandal reared back, shocked. "That bitch was a fucking thin-blood?"

I nodded. "Selling her blood would have brought only misfortune to the candy store."

"Shit!" He swore, running a hand through his hair. "She didn't have any of the Clan's traits, I just figured she was a fucked up human! But where am I gonna get the blood now, huh? Doesn't grow on fucking trees, y'know."

"I can get you another human, Candy-man," I promised.

"You can, huh?" Vandal cocked an eyebrow. "All right, princess, I'll sell you the blood as long as you get me a replacement."

I nodded vigorously. "Give me three of your earth days, and I shall have your bloody proxy."

I left Vandal at his desk and was about to leave when I remembered there was one room I hadn't investigated; the laundry, which was right across from me. Being the curious little crazy I was, I stopped in for a quick look.

Inside the laundry were the usual carts and machines, but what caught my attention was the large hole in one of the walls, which was blocked why a sheet of wood on the other side. I crouched down and carefully pushed the wood out of the way as I crawled thought the hole.

I found myself in a dark part of the clinic and sign next to the first door I came across read 'Morgue'. Score. This was just the place I needed to be to learn about Virgil Crumb.

Pushing open the door I was greeted by none other than Mister Crumb himself. Laying half naked on a gurney with a slit up his chest. Yum. A quick poke around his pockets procured nothing, so I rolled up my sleeves in order to tackle the difficult lock on the chest in the corner of the room. After a few minutes and some choice swears, I'd jimmied the lock open to find the chest to be nearly empty, other than a cheap silver ring and a key card for some place called 'Foxy Boxes' Wherever that was.

The entire floor was otherwise empty, so I left via the main stairs and ended up back on the main floor of the clinic. Ok, so I'd freed Lily and found Virgil Crumb. The only other thing I needed to do here was retrieve that bag of werewolf blood which, according to my _lovely_ boss, was somewhere upstairs.

I weaved through the halls on the clinic, heading for the back (waving at the good doctor, who sneered at me as I passed). I didn't see anyone as I climbed the stairs, but I had a nasty feeling I wasn't meant to be up here. This feeling was proven when I was greeted by an unhappy looking guard as soon as I walked in the door.

"This area is for hospital staff only," he droned, all the while looking at me suspiciously.

I grinned wildly. "I am a key ring, feed me! Then you can't see me," I sang as I felt the blood drain from me and my eyes glowed a hypnotizing yellow. (5)

The guards eyes hazed over and he lifted his arm in slow motion, handing me his keys. "You can let your self out."

I snatched the keys from his hand and gave a toothy smirk. "Much thanks."

The key he gave me was apparently for the Controlled Substances room, where I expected the blood was. However, the safe inside was magnetically locked, meaning I either needed to open it with a keycard or via a computer somewhere on the floor.

I wandered the halls (raiding the prescription room on the way) and eventually came across a room holding only a computer. A quick hack led me to the CS Door options (password: Paige. Oh what a silly Doctor!) and from there I unlocked the safe. After that it was only the simple matter of removing the blood from the cabinet and gapping it down the stairs and back into the street,

I went back home, after that, as the sun's first rays were starting to lighten the sky. I dropped the blood into my mailbox as I climbed the stairs to my room above the pawn shop. As I crawled under my heavy bed covers, I decided it had been a rather productive night. Tomorrow I'd tackle the sewers. Joy.

XXXXXX

Dooooone. Over 2500 words which is an alright length, I'd say.

Urrrg I'm covered in flea bites and my throat's closing up…

Anyway, thanks for all your reviews and such, guys :D Sorry for the wait, but I'd say it was a shorter one than last time? Idk I started typing this quite a while ago… Never got around to fixing it because I got stuck with Vandal…. Ah well XD Remember to tell me if you spot mistaaakes~

XXXXXX

1: I think that's actually the closest thing the character gets to a name in the entire game XD Never thought I get to use one of these footnote things… Don't you hate when people put the numbers in the fic and then there's no thing at the bottom telling you wtf they were on about? Drives me MAD!!!

2: Ha! Pun! –shot by Malky-

3: I don't actually get that reference XD

4: I doubt anyone knows where that lil bit's from XD

5: Idk if a Malk's eyes do ANYTHING when your Dementating but it's fun to think.

Might not do these footnotes anymore… they get a bit out of hand…

On a side note, I'd never really gotten why Lily was even DOWN there O.o I mean, who'd wanna drink thin-blood blood? Yuuuuuck.


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